Sirius's Daughter
by ForLoveorMoney
Summary: What would of happened if Sirius and his then girlfriend had made a mistake in their 7th year?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; This in the introduction. Lemme know what your thoughts are.**

Sirius was wide awake sitting infront of his fire place. It was about two weeks before school started back for his god son, then he would be alone. It wasn't that big of a deal he'd spent 12 years alone. He rembered what day it was. June 28th, his daughter's birthday. She'd been an entire year older for almost a day and he hadn't realized it.

_"I'm sorry Lindsey."_ He thought to himself. Every year on his daughter's birthday he would find himself thinking about what would of happened if he'd stood up to her mother and made her beleive he would've taken care of them. He heard someone come down the hall, but didn't move.

"Sirius? You're up late." He heard Hermione tell him.

"So are you missy-miss"

"Well you tend to lose sleep when you get ready to go back to school. I've always done it." She said sitting on the couch across from him with a blanket.

"Harry never seems to have any problems."

"No,Harry always sleeps like a rock. You never said why you're still awake."

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"The past."

"James and Lily?"

" Not really,"

"Sidney?"

"Who told you about Sidney?" She really did know everything at times.

"I over heard you talking to Lupin about her, it sounded like she was your whole world."

"Until she took it away."


	2. The beginning

"What do you mean by that Sirius?" Hermione asked cocking an eyebrow.

"It's a whole lot of history Hermione." He said looking at his hands.

They heard a creaking from behind them. Sirius smiled, knowing exactly who it was.

"Come join us if your going to eavesdrop,Harry."

Harry gave up on trying to be quiet and took a seat next to Hermione.

"What were we talking about?" Harry said rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

"Sidney." Hermione said leaning her head on him.

"Who's that?"

"My school girlfriend."

"Why are we talking about her?"

" 'Cause I was talking to Remus about her. Today's my daughter's birthday too."

" Oh..okay," It hit him. "Wait a minute your what?"

"I had a daughter in my 7th year. Her mother's name was Sidney and it's a long story from there."

"We've got time." Hermione said staring in shock.

"No you need to get some rest. The both of you."

They did as they were told but that still didn't take his mind off of Lindsey. His baby girl. He wanted to see her. Talk to her if he could. Hell, he wanted to raise her ,but of course what kind of parent gets sent to Azkaban for twelve years? Even if he'd talked Sidney into it, he'd of still lost her anyway. It didn't matter maybe if he'd had her he would of been more careful. That was his last thought as he'd sunk deeper into his memories of his last year in Hogwarts.

**Flashback**

He'd done his latest prank on Snape with his best friends in the world. The Mauderers, as they liked to call themselves.

"That was an awesome one wasn't in Padfoot!" James said loudly recalling the previous moments.

"As best as they come my friend. As best as they come. What chu think Moony?"

"You guys best be glad I'm off duty."

"Yeah..Yeah."

Lily came up to them and James had gone to kiss her and she pushed him away. She only did that when something was wrong and that worried Sirius, but didn't show on his features.

"What's the matter Lily?"

"I didn't come here for you James. Sirius."

"What'd I do now?"

"I'm not sure, but Sidney's in the middle of the girls lavendry crying her eyes out. She wants you.She won't tell me anything and I'm worried about her Sirius."

That was all Sirius needed to hear to head off in search for her. He'd gotten tired of his playboy repuation and had settled down with the most untrusting person he'd ever met. In his opinion they were perfect for each other. Lily and his companions were right behind him as he followed Lily into the girl's bathroom. There she was, his Sidney bent over her knees slowly rocking back and forth. Lily wasn't joking when she'd said she was crying her eyes out.

"Sid, baby what's the matter?"

"I'm sorry Sirius. I'm so sorry."

He gathered her into his arms and attempted to calm her down,but to no avail.

"It's okay. I'm here baby. It's okay."

Lily was standing next them. A look of concern on her face. James behind her not really knowing what to do.

"Sidney baby what's the matter?"

She broke free of his grip and whispered something into his ear. He fell back from his knees and looked blankly at her. "Are...you..Are you sure?"

"What? What is she sure of?" James said with a curious look on his face.

"Sidney and I need a moment to ourselves." He shot in their direction and helped her off of the ground leading her out of the girl's bathroom. Leaving his best friends to themselves.

"What was that?"

"I'm not sure." She caught James's expression."James." She said in a stern tone.

"What?"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Leave him alone he'll tell you when he's ready."

"Lily."

"James. Don't. Or you'll screw it up more for him."

"What's it?"

"I don't know. But it's important.

Sirius and Sidney were alone out next to the school lake. Taking everything in.

"What do you mean your pregnant? What's that supposed to mean."

"It means in 8 months I'm going to have our child Sirius." She said quietly.

"I know what it means! I mean what are we going to do?"

"First off I think we should decide on who we're going to tell and who we aren't."

"Well, okay. Umm James and Remus of course."

"What about Peter?"

"No! God no! He'll tell half the school if he's threatned."

"Okay.. I'm going to tell Lily,of course she's my best friend and room mate."

" I think that's it."

"What about our parents?" He'd never had a chance to tell her about his family. His gene pool rather.

"I'm not going to tell my parents until the last minute."

"Why not babe?"

"Because their strict _purebloods_ kind of people."

"Sirius! I'm muggle-born!"

"I know and I love that about you. It doesn't matter what they think they're not my family. You and this baby are my family now."

"Don't forget James and Remus. The three of you are attatched at the hip" She said trying to be cheerful after about 2 and a half hours of tears.

"Well yeah, but they only count a lil' bit."


	3. Telling friends

**A/N; Wanna thank all of my wonderful reviewers. It's short but I feel that I've tortured you enough and I also wish you could physically strangle writer's block. lol**

They walked back into the school. Completely unafraid of the coming issues that would insue.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah Sid?"

"What about the Professors?"

_Shit. I fogot all about them. _He scolded himself mentally. He looked at Sidney who was biting her nail. He pulled her arm gently so her fingers would be away from her teeth. That just wasn't a good habit and he knew it. Especially for a girl.

"Ummm. Well baby do you want to tell 'em?"

" Well considering your record with Hogwarts.." He held his hand up to silence her.

"Don't worry about what you think would happen to me. If you want to tell the school go ahead and tell the school."

" I want to tell the headmaster and the nurse." She said looking him in the eyes. His eyes were full of confusion and happiness. Which was different. Not that he wasn't ever happy, it just wasn't common to see them together.

"Well let's go tell Lily,James, and Remus. Judging by their reaction we'll see if we're up to telling the school today."

"But we're going to right?"

"Of course, as long as you want."

"I love you Sirius."

"I love you too my Sidney."

"I like it when you call me that."

"Call you what? my Sidney?"

"Yeah..it's soothing."

"Well you are, aren't you?"

"I'll always be yours Sirius."

They walked into the Griffindor Common Room to see Remus and James playing a game of chess and Lily watching in horror as the chess peices would slaughter each other. Lily was the first to realize they were back. She jumped up and hugged Sidney. Looking her over.

"Are you alright?" She asked in her best mothering tone.

"I'm fine Lily,I'll be okay."

"Good, cause you ruined my kiss." James said playfully also bringing her into a hug.

"James!" Lily said causing her to blush.

"I'm just kidding...mostly."

"Alright you two. Don't make me report you for canoodling." Remus said joining the conversation.

Sirius cleared his throat. "You guys? We have something to tell you."

"Oh my god Sirius can use full grammar!" James said jokingly causing everyone to laugh except for Sirius of course.

"No Prongs! That's not what I had to say." After that everyone went quiet.

"Come on Sirius you know I was just kidding."

"Yeah what's the real news Sirius?"

"Umm. Promise not to fall in the floor?"

"Yes Sirius,would you spit it out already."

"Okay.Okay. Umm late June me and Sidney are going to be parents." He said quickly.

"What?" James asked unable to catch it.

"You idiot!" Lily screamed at him. "She's pregnant! They're going to have a baby!" She squealed as she hugged Sidney in joy.

"Wow. Padfoot's gonna be a daddy." James said while the three of them shared 'manly hugs'.

"Are you going to tell the school?" Remus questioned like only a true prefect would. He'd been one for a year now.

"I don't see why not."

"Of course we are."

"Well then you might as well do it soon. Dumbledore's going to London tomorrow."

They were already out the door before Remus could finish his sentence.


	4. Friends and Authority figures

Sirius's heart was racing as he approached the staircase to the Headmaster's office. He smiled at his nervousness. Not once in his entire time in Hogwarts had he been scared to go to the Headmaster's office. He usually would of been proud to go, or would have been to angry to feel afraid. He felt Sidney's hand tremble under his and he gave her a reassuring look.

"It'll be okay babe. I promise."

She nodded to him and stepped up on the moving staircase with him eyeing the huge bird next to them.

"It doesn't bite."

"Shut up Sirius."

They walked into the Headmaster's office where he was petting his pet Phoenix. Who's name Sirius couldn't rember.

"Good Evening Headmaster." Sidney greeting accepting the chair Sirius had pulled out for her.

" Good Evening,Ms. Edwards. Mr. Black."

"Good Evening Headmaster." Sirius said pulling his own chair out.

"What have you come for, may I ask?" He said putting the Phoenix on his perch and taking his own seat.

Sidney froze up with fear and guilt and looked over to Sirius with tears in her eyes. He couldn't stand to see her cry so he did it for her knowing she wouldn't be able to live if she didn't tell the Headmaster.

"Ummm Professor there's no easy or right way to tell you this, but" He took a deep breath. "Sidney and I are going to become parents in late June."

"I see."

"You see? What's that mean you see!...sir."

Dumbledore smiled at Sirius's confusion. "I just meant I understand what you're talking about." He stated simply.

"You're no...t mad?"

"See Mr. Black I find it's much easier to not how should I say...overreact. Otherwise my emotions would of gotten the better of me and you would have been expelled your first year for that jinxing frog prank."

Sirius smiled at the memory, but snapped back to reality quickly. "So you don't care if me and Sidney carry around a baby towards the end of 7th year?"

"Well yes I do infact 'care' Mr. Black. Of course I'll have to get your schedules turned around so you'll be taking equal care of the child. That is if you plan to keep the child." He said raising his eyebrow in question.

"Well of course we plan on keeping it. It's ours."

"Yes, of course. I do trust you'll be informing our dear Ma'dam Pomfrey correct?"

"Yes Headmaster."

"You're excused."

They left and he wrapped his arms around Sidney and she cried on him close to ten minutes.

"It's fine Sid. It's gonna be okay."

"You don't know that." She said looking up at him.

"Yes I do. Sidney I've been through things that would make a grown man cry sweetie. Trust me I recognize a good thing when I see it."

She started crying more. After close to six months of arguing he knew when to comfort her and when to just let her cry, and then was one of those times when it'd be better to let her cry on him.

"What's wrong Sidney?"

"I'm sorry you had such a bad childhood. I don't want that for our baby."

"We're going to be the best parents in the world. I promise."

"I lost my mom when I was young Sirius. I don't want to leave our baby," She told him hysterically.

"You won't baby doll. It's okay you won't."

"Look at me.." She said wiping away the tears. "Acting like a mad woman."

"Sid,baby you've always been a mad woman since I first met you, but it makes you gorgeous" He said kissing her. She pulled away.

"Don't start something you can't finish." She said seductively.

"Oh I think I've proved I can finish something" He said equally in the same tone.

She smiled. "Come on let's go tell the nurse." She said grabbing his hand and leading towards the Hospital Wing.

After about 20 minutes of arguing,ranting, and a sonogram. Ma'dam Pomfrey finally let them go with the largest bottle of supplements Sirius had ever seen.

"Well that was...intresting."

"Really? I'd call her crazy, but since she's the school nurse I'm gonna call her scary."

"We'll go with that."

They got back to the Common Room and everyone was already in bed. So they said their goodnights and went in their own directions.

Sidney quietly opened the door,but gave up when she saw the lamp on and Lily reading a book. Lily looked over to see her best friend. From all the crying that Sidney had done her eyeliner had run down her face and there was still traces of it, the rest of her make-up was smeared too.

"Thought you'd be asleep by now."

"Well it's about 5 minutes before curfew, so I just called it a bit early." She put the book down and sat up. "So how'd it go?"

"Well the Headmaster took it well, or atleast I think he did. Ma'dam Pomfrey went on and on and finally held me down for a sonogram and gave me these."

She held up the bottle for Lily to see. Lily's jaw fell as she saw the mass of the bottle.

"She'd give 'em to you or to an elephant?"

"She gave 'em to me,and they're supposed to be all taken in four months!"

"She's lost it!"

" I know."

"So besides your elephant pills. Are you okay?"

She laid back down and patted the room beside her Lily had the bigger bed it was a queen while Sidney had a full. The room belonged only to the two of them because it had a bad view looking out towards the forbidden forest and a bunch of ghosts came through it during the day so very few girls were even brave enough to stay there. Sidney laid down next to Lily. She needed to talk to her.

"Yeah. I mean Sirius took it a lot better than I thought he would. The Headmaster was supportive and Ma'dam Pomfrey was the only one I got really any hell from."

"Yeah."

"Hey Lily?"

"What was the frog jinx incident from 1st year?"

Lily busted out laughing at the memory.

"Sirius jinxed all of the Slytherins with frogs everytime they used a racial term, and you know the Slytherins."

Sidney smiled at the vision. Severus always called her a mud-blood almost everytime he saw her. She'd of loved to see him get a mouthful of frogs for it. "I wonder what the boys are talking about."

Remus,James and Sirius where whispering as to not wake up Peter. It was clear they didn't want him to know, and they all had to keep his secret.

"So Padfoot. What'd the ol' man say?"

"He said he'd take care of it."

"Anybody but you Sirius would've been expelled for that." Remus told him.

"What? It's kinda too late now. There's not a hell of a lot they can do about it."

"Yeah man. How come you never told us you and Sidney were physical?" James said throwing away an empty box of every flavor jellybeans,

"Because you never mentioned you and Lily were physical." He said turning over.

"That's because we're physical on special occasion."

"Alright James enough. Too many images of you and Lily, and not to mention Lily's a friend too." Remus said rubbing his eyes trying to clear them of the images James had planted.

"He only says that because he's never been physical." James said climbing back to the top bunk.

"Hmm. I'd if figured he'd play that perfect prefect card and get it easily." Sirius said playing James's game.

"The both of you stop. Now."

"Oh come on Remus, we're only fooling around."

"Just get some sleep."

"Fine goodnight,"

"Goodnight."

**A/N: I'm not completely sure if Ma'dam Pomfrey was around when they were, but she looked old enough to have just started so I went with her. And rember another chapter for your thoughts.**


	5. Losses and Punishment

**A/N; To all of my wonderful reviewers. I apologize for my grammar/spelling mistakes. I barely passed my english class. (As you can tell lol) so my grammar skills are close to a big fat zero. That and I don't have a beta reader.**

They woke up late had to hurry down to the great hall. Breakfeast had already been served and Sirius and James practically ran to an empty space at the Griffindor table. Remus stayed back with the Sidney and Lily and sat between Lily and Sirius.

"So James. When's the next Quidditch practice?" Sidney asked piling food onto her plate.

Sirius and James dropped their forks at her question.

"No Sid! Absoutley not! You cannot play in your condition as captain I simply won't allow it." James said folding his arms in protest.

"Yeah Sidney, have you simply lost it!" Sirius said as more of a statement than a question.

"No I have not, and as for you James I think I should decide when I won't be able to play anymore."

"Sidney your the keeper! Your job is to get hit! One good smack in the stomach and it's over."

Sirius and Sidney both cringed at the thought. Sidney hung her head in defeat. "Okay James you win." She said quietly. Quiddditch was her outlet from stress and she simply loved the game. Maybe even more than Sirius and James. She wanted to cry for the loss, but she wouldn't allow herself to cry in the middle of the great hall.

"Oh now come on baby doll. How 'bout I let you pick your replacement? It's only for a little while." James said in an attempt to comfort her.

"The school year's gonna be over by then! There's no way in hell I'm going to get on a proffessional team anyway!"

"Sidney..."

"No just forget it!" She got up and stormed off leaving James and Sirius to their own musing.

"I'm going after her." Sirius said getting up from his seat. Lily grabbed his arm as he walked past her.

"No Sirius. Just leave her be."

"Lily."

"Just take your seat Sirius."

He went back over to his seat and sat down.

"What was that about?" Peter said watching Sirius take his seat.

"Just back off Wormtail." Sirius growled.

"Okay.." He said taking another bite of his breakfeast.

Sidney was outside in the Quidditch stands watching the Ravenclaws practice. Wiping away her tears only for more to come. She'd never play again and it was killing her. She felt the baby move and she put her hand on her still flat stomach. She smiled and stopped crying. It could be worth it.

The rest of them had finished their breakfeast and it was almost time for class and Sidney still hadn't shown up. Sirius looked frantic, James looked guilty. Remus looked concerened and Lily looked annoyed.

"Look the three of you go to class. I'm going to go look up in our room for her, cause she's probably there. Sirius,Sirius look at me."

He snapped out of it and looked in Lily's direction. All of his fear melted at the look in her eyes.

"It's going to be fine. She's okay,"

"Alright Lily. Thank you." He hugged her and went to class behind James and Remus. Lily went out to the Quidditch field and walked up to the stands. She knew she'd be up there watching practice. She saw Sidney, her elbows propped up on her knees, with her head resting on her knuckles. She was watching the practice contently and Lily thought about just leaving her alone, but then decided against it.

"What's going on?"

"Ravenclaw. I'm not supposed to be watching them but I won't ever get to play again. So they won't have to worry about me."

"Sid. I'm gonna tell you what I tell James all the time. Quidditch is just a game. You will gain a lot more than you lose from just letting it go now."

"I know, but Lily losing Quidditch to me is like losing James to you."

" James is important to me, but I could live without James. You get hit in the stomach you _will_ lose the baby. By then you or Sirius couldn't live."

"Aren't you supposed to be in class or something Miss I know everything?"

"That's where your supposed to be."

"Well come on and I'll walk with you."

Sidney smiled and stood up and followed her friend to class. They were about ten minutes late and the Proffessor wasn't happy about it.

" I'm glad the two of you have decided the rest of us,"

"Oh it was no problem. " Sidney said taking her seat behind James and Sirius. Sirius snickered into his sleeve. Lily sat down quickly next to her.

"Fifteen points from Griffindor, for Ms. Edwards lack of courtesy and respect."

"I had a previous engagement!"

"Five points for back-talking."

"That's not fair!"

"Five more, Ms. Edwards! We _can _ keep going."

"Proffessor Beegley!"

"Five more and dentention after school Ms. Edwards. Now sit down and turn in your books to 245" He said turning his back to Sidney. She threw herself into her seat and slammed her books down. Creating as much noise as possible making Lily jump at the same time.

They got done with their first class. Sidney had stayed behind, but the other three of them were headed down the corridors. Sirius and James were absorbing in Sidney's actions.

"The way she told Beegley she had something else going on!" James said laughing "That was hilarious."

"I knew she was my girlfriend for a reason!"

"And that's because she's exactly like you and doesn't know when to shut up?" Remus said mockingly.

"Sidney's the exact opposite from Sirius Remus. She does it with class." Lily said correcting him.

"Hey I have _plenty_ of class. Thank you very much. As I rember before Sid I was never without a girlfriend." He said proudly.

"Oh, you do mean you were never without an easy girl who you could have some fun with and leave for the next who would gladly have you right?"

James busted out laughing as did Remus. Lily was waiting on his response. Sirius hadn't expected her to say something like that.

"That's not true. I've had girlfriends."

"Oh yeah? Name _one_."

"Ummmmm."

"Exactly."

Sidney was standing infront of Proffessor Beegley's desk waiting for her 'punishment'. He was taking his sweet time with it and Sidney was running out of patience quickly.

"Report here at 6;30 and you can help scrub out the cauldrons."

"That's fine." She said through her teeth before storming out of the room. She ran smack into Peter and they both fell down.

"Oh Sidney! I'm sorry Sidney! I'm sorry! Please don't tell Sirius! I'm sorry!" He rambled. She got back up and held up her hand to silence him.

"It's okay Peter. It was my fault." She said quietly.

"If you don't mind me asking. Where are the rest of them?"

"They're probably headed for next class. I got held back."

"Well...would you mind if I walked with you?"

"Sure Peter. You can walk with me."

The two of them headed for their next class, which to Sidney's appreciation they were on time for.


	6. Wait! My Father knows!

**To all my reviewers- Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Gonna try to clear some confusion. No Sirius wasn't _allowed_ in the girls bathroom but then again rules never meant much to Sirius anyways and Lily had made him think something was wrong with her so there you go. lol.**

Sirius and Sidney were passing notes. Sidney wasn't feeling too well and she'd talked the Proffessor into letting her lay her head down. She was sitting behind James so the teacher couldn't see that she didn't have her head down even though she really wanted to rest. She had a bad headache, but couldn't seem to convince Sirius she did.

"So what'd Beegley say?" She read the note. Sirius had suprisingly clean hand writing for a guy.

"Gotta go scrub cauldrons at 6;30. Look babe. My head is killing me, I'll talk to you soon ok?"

"You okay? It's not the baby or anything is it?"

"No. Just a headache. Gonna rest my head some love you. P.S. You send this back. I'll hurt you.P

He left her alone after that. Class was over alot sooner than Sidney had wanted it to be. She had 2 more to go and then she could go up to her room and sleep a little while before she had to go to detention. She gathered her books up and joined the rest of them outside,

"Bloody Hell Sidney. Are you okay?" Remus said feeling her forehead.

"Yes Remus I'm fine."

"Look Moony, I know your a prefect and everything, but do you have to watch over us like hawks? Loosen up alittle." James suggested.

"Leave Remus alone James. He has enough problems without your help." Sidney defended. The only thought Remus could come up with was _if only she knew._

"Alright Sidney. Hey you never said if you wanted to help me pick your replacement."

"Well of course, surely you don't think I'd leave it up to you to pick someone to replace _me?_" She said playfully puting her hands on her hips.

"That's the Sid I know." Jame said getting her into a headlock and messing up her hair with his knuckles.

"James!" He let her go and she punched him hard in the shoulder causing him to hold it to keep from screaming in pain.

"Now that just wasn't nice."

"Well _you_ shouldn't have put me in a headlock!"

He stuck his tongue out at her and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Alright children, play nice or I'll put you in time out." Remus said in a half playful warning tone.

"Yes sir." Sidney said taking off towards her next class. She had that class to herself with the exception of some Ravenclaws she liked to talk to. The down side was that it was half way across the school. "Bye guys!"

"See ya later Sid!" They said almost in unison

She got there and found a seat, about half way through the class. An apprentince healer had come to class saying that Ma'dam Pomfrey had sent for her. She'd seen her a week ago which put her at about 10 weeks. All of her headaches made since now, but Ma'dam Pomfrey was driving her crazy. She followed Ma'dam Pomfrey's apprentince without question. She walked into the Hospital wing.

"Hello Ms. Edwards nice to see you again."

"Hey Ma'dam Pomfrey."

"Now, have you been taking your medication?"

"Yes Ma'dam Pomfrey."

"Been feeling alright?"

"Yes Ma'dam Pomfrey."

"Good. Now I've sent letters to your parents, explaining the situation."

"Yes Ma'... Wait a minute, You WHAT!"

"Watch your tone. I've got people resting in here. I sent a letter to your parents."

"My Father knows!"

"Ms. Edwards..."

"You had no right to do that!"

"When one of the students has a medical emergency their parents or guardians _must_ be notified."

"Tha'ts my decision if I wanted him to know don't you think I would of told him myself!"

Her cheeks were red with anger. Her chest was also heaving with anger. Healer or not, she had no rights to tell her what to do, and besides that she had no right to tell anyone about the baby.

"Ms. Edwards..just calm down."

"You've ruined my life Ma'dam Pomfrey are you happy now!" She shouted at the older woman before running out the doors.

She went up to her room to unwind before the owl from her father came. Then it hit her that she might have told Sirius's parents too. He'd told her she didn't want him to know. Sirius had said it like they would literally kill him if they found out he had a baby with her. She had to find out. No, she had to find Sirius and then find out.

She took off down the corridors and ran through Nearly Headless Nick.

"I'm sorry Sir. Nicholas!"

"It's alright dear, just be more aware of your wereabouts!" He shouted after her.

She'd made it down to the classroom he was in and just her luck he was still in class. She sighed and tried to get his attention. That wasn't working and she didn't want to catch the teachers eye either so she walked over to the otherside of the corridor leaned out the window and gabbed a small rock. She threw it at Sirius but it had hit James instead. He looked over towards her and glared. She pointed at Sirius and James got his attention for her. He could tell by the look in her face something was wrong.

"Proffessor? May I be excused?"

"Of course, Mr. Black." He said irritably. Sirius jumped out of his seat and walked at a quick pace out of the classroom.

"Sidney? What is it? What's the matter?"

"That _thing_ told my Father!"

"What thing? What are you talking about?"

"Ma'dam Pomfrey! Ma'dam Pomfrey told my father I'm pregnant." She siad a bit quieter. All the color fell from Sirius's face.

"Did she tell my parents?"

"I don't know."

"Let's go ask."

He took her hand and led her down the hall to the Hospital Wing. He almost went through the doors and wasted no time.

"Ma'dam Pomfrey did you tell my parents about Sidney!" He growled.

"No Mr. Black. Your parents aren't on your contacts. A Mr. and Mrs. Potter are."

"So you told them."

"No. You might live with them, but they aren't your legal guardians so I couldn't inform them."

"Okay."

He turned to leave and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Mr. Black."

"What!"

"You _will_ have to tell them eventually."

He just disreguarded her words and stomped out followed by Sidney. They'd dodged one bullet , or atleast she hoped so.


	7. Tryouts

Sidney was in her room pacing around nervously. She was biting her nails. She knew Sirius didn't like her doing that ,but she always did it when she was nervous. Finally an owl came through the window.

"Hey Tawny," She said greeting the old owl. She'd been her Father's school owl and she'd since been retired to the family owl. The owl hooted at her softly and then cuddled up against her. She sat on her bed petting Tawny as she read the long been dreaded letter, suprised it wasn't a Howler.

_Dear Sidney,_

_I've just received word from your school Healer that you, my dear daughter, are pregnant. Now since we've last talked you've never mentioned a boyfriend in your life. That aside I'm not happy with this news and you ARE coming home this Holiday. No if's and's or but's._

_John Edwards._

She froze with fear. She was going home this holiday. She never went home during the Holidays. She wondered what her mother what have said to her if she was still alive, and with that thought she gathered up her courage and got a peice of parchment.

_Dear Father,_

_I'm sorry that Ma'dam Pomfrey had to be the one to tell you about such news. In my defense I had planned on telling you but she had declared a medical emergency before I could tell you. I thought you had a buisness trip this holiday. You were going to Romania weren't you? I rember because I wanted to go and you told me I couldn't. I would like your thoughts about my daughter. Yes Father I am having a girl. I am having a baby. What I do from there is going to be mine and her father's decision alone. I love you._

_Your's Truely,_

_Sidney._

Her Father wasn't the best parent in the world. When she was young he was always gone on a buisness trip or something else to occupy his time. She'd always been with the House Elf or with her aunt. Her aunt told her once that she shouldn't blame him for being gone. He was trying to create a living for them. Sidney always thought it was because she looked alot like her mother and her father couldn't take it too much at one time, but that was just her opinon.

She was brought from her musings when Lily walked in the door.

"What's with the owl?" Lily said referring to Tawny.

"This is Tawny, my _father's_ owl." Lily's expression went from dull to fear.

"Your Father's letter came today?" She said in an effort to stay calm.

"Yeah." She said strapping on her own letter to Tawny's leg and seeing her off.

"What'd he say?"

She handed Lily her Father's letter. Lily gasped about every other sentence before finally handing it back to her.

"He's got a subtle way of assulting you doesn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Have you shown this to Sirius yet?"

"No, Tawny just got here with it."

"Oh speaking of the git. He's downstairs demanding you."

"What now?" Sidney said putting the letter back into the enveolpe.

"You had a sonogram to find out whether you were having a son or daughter today right?"

"Oh that's right I haven't told him yet!" She squealed before taking off down the stairs. She jumped into Sirius's arms and he spun her around the room.

"So?" He asked excitedly.

"It's a girl."

"It's a girl? It's a girl! Hey Moony! You hear that!"

"Yes Sirius, the whole school heard that!" He came up and hugged her. "Congratulations you two." He looked at Sirius with a pretend glare. "Watch how you spin her like that."

"Yes sir," Sirius said with a salute causing Sidney to laugh.

James came through the door with the case of Quidditch equipment and his broom. Sidney noticed he had an upset look on his face.

"There you are!"

"Hello to you too James."

"I've been looking for you everywhere! Are you going to help pick your replacement or not! The tryouts have been postponed twice!"

"Alright James, okay." She kissed Sirius on the cheek. "I'll be back"

"Take your time."

"Now. Sid." James gritted through his teeth.

"I'm coming James!" She shouted at him before stomping out of sight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were 9 people trying out for Griffindor Keeper. 5 guys and 4 girls. James was suprised at the turn out. He'd been the only one to try out for Seeker.

"Excuse me!" Sidney yelled trying to get their attention. They went quiet . "First off I want to thank all of you for comming out here today. I'll be assisting the Captain, James Potter." She said motioning to James. "In picking one of you which I'm sure is going to be a hard decision. Okay let's get started."

Three of the guys didn't make it past the 'oral exam'. Which Sidney had asked them a series of questions that James was sure that they weren't prepared for. So that left 2 guys and 4 girls to take out to the field.

"Alright you guys have made it this far. We're going to go ahead and take the lot of you out on the field and see what you got."

James got on his broom with the first guy. He was tall about 6 foot and tan. James had a feeling he'd be a fair challenge.

"Alright Sid! Let 'em go!" He shouted to the ground.

Sidney waved her hand down before letting the bludger go. It came straight up to James and he hit it straight towards the lower left goal and he protected it with no errors. He looked down towards Sidney and from what he could tell looked pleased. She let the second one go and James hit it towards him and it knocked him through the goal. Exactly what Sidney couldn't let happen to her. Sidney cringed as he drifted to the ground and she ran over to him. She turned him over to see him groaning and slowly re-gaining all consciousness.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I think so." He said sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

"Well atleast you take a punch pretty well."

He laughed and took her hand so he could help her off the ground.

"Black's a lucky man." He told her as he limped off the field.

Then one of the girls came up and mounted the broom. She came straight up into the goals and James pulled a fast one on her, but she was prepared. She hit it straight towards him and he dodged it by a few centimeters. She smiled at him and took a nose-dive for the ground and pulled up right before she hit the ground and got off. James could tell she'd be an awesome beater if that. She was fearless, and wasn't exactly careful. He needed a Keeper with some sense of danger and bravery at the same time. He wasn't sure if he'd get both out of this girl. He looked down at Sidney who looked throughly pleased with the result. She was shaking the girl's hand before seeing her off the field and bringing the second guy. James didn't waste anytime, he knew who this guy was. Allen Sutherland, he'd seen him some in the Library. The only reason for that was because he was Lily's ex-boyfriend and had on several occasions had tried to get her back last year.

"Ready Potter!"

"I'd watch it Sutherland! You're the one trying out!" Just as he said that a bludger came straight for James's head. He smacked it straight towards Sutherland. It hit him in the head and he fell from his broom like a wounded bird. Sindey bolted towards him as James came to the ground. Sidney sat him up and pulled her hand back from his head. He was bleeding from his head.

" I didn't mean to Sid I swear."

"Why'd you hit him so hard! You could have killed him James!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Whatever just help me take him to the Hospital."

James took a side as did Sidney. Then the first guy came up and took Sidney's place.

"Why don't you finish up here. I'll help Potter take him to the Hospital."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Sidney took James's broom and took the "Bludger Beater" as Sirius called it, off the ground and motioned for the second girl to get up in the air.

They were up there and Sidney hit a bludger for the girl and she missed it. It went through the goal and that Sidney couldn't have. She motioned for the girl to go down and she did. Sidney took the rest of them out and they did okay, but she had decided between the first guy, the second girl and the first girl. Their names were Cade, Emma, and Allyson. She'd have to talk it over with James, but she was pretty sure Cade would replace her.


	8. Secrets only friends would keep

**A/N; Feel really bad about not getting my facts straight about Quidditch. In my defense, the last time I read one of the books was 4 years ago. Ah well point being I'll look up Quidditch before I write about it. Try to lower Dorrie's blood pressure some, cause I know she's gotta be freaking out at my grammar/spelling mistakes. lol Thanks for the correction Dorrie you're great. All my reviewers are.**

Sirius was extremely mad at her for getting on the broom and finishing the tryouts. He'd gone on and on about how she could of killed herself and their daughter. Sidney felt really bad about it, but she was careful and she was okay. Allen Sutherland pulled through with a mild concussion and James was suspended from his spot as Captain for the next week and a half. They didn't have any games, but they did have to break Cade into Keeper. James had intstantly agreed with Sidney that Cade was the best choice for the job. After that they had dubbed Sirius temporary Captain, and he wasn't handling it to well.

"I can't do this, I can't." He rambled as he paced around the Common Room.

"You can babe, all you have to do is go practice."

"Do you have any idea how much work goes into a single practice!"

"Sirius honey, it's not that hard post a day that everyone has to be out there and practice."

"You have to pick a routine to practice,how long."

"A time, a place, and a game plan."

"You have an answer for everything, you ever get a letter from your dad?"

"Umm, no it hasn't come yet. I hope Tawny didn't get lost." She lied.

"I'm sure she's fine." He hugged her and James came through the door.

"Sirius. Ummm. We got that _thing._ With the _thing_ at the _place."_

"I know about the _thing,_ I'll be there soon,"

"If you want me to leave, all you had to do was ask."

"No Sid, I just need Sirius to _hurry_ up." James said quickly.

"I'll be there in a minute James."

James left and Lily came down the stairs.

"Oh, hey Sirius, did James come yet for the _thing?"_

"Yeah you just missed him." Sirius said absent mindedly looking over some Quidditch routines.

"What are you still doing here then?"

"I'm going in just a minute."

"Sirius, I'll take care of the Quidditch routine, if you want to go ahead and go."

Lily looked aggravated.

"Did you tell her about the_ thing_?" She said glaring at him

"No Lils I didn't tell her about the thing."

"Did he tell you about the thing?."

"All I heard today was how I could of killed myself and my daughter. Nothing else." She said glaring at Sirius.

" Okay. Why am I getting all of the bad looks?" Sirius whined."

"Hey Sid, could you sort out all of this mess for Sirius, he's got somewhere else he's got to be." She looked over to him. " Isn't that right Sirius?"

He looked at his watch." Oh god. I'm so so late. Sidney baby please?"

"Alright. Just be back before curfew,"

"See that's the thing. I'm not coming back until tomorrow morning."

"Where the hell are you going?"

"I can't tell you."

"Sirius Black I'm your girlfriend and the mother of your daughter. You had best tell me where the hell you are going."

"He can't Sid. He wants to, but he can't. I'll be back tonight." Lily said as she push Sirius towards the portrait.

"Sure. Don't trust Sidney. She's not important enough!" She yelled after them and grabbed the nearest glass and threw it them, shattering nearly missing Sirius as he disappeared. She stomped over and started looking through the routines.

"Alright, now I feel bad," He told Lily as they headed out towards the Forbidden Forest holding a lantern.

"Look. It's part of being a friend. You have to keep certain secrets. You know how bad it would freak Sidney out to know that Remus was a werewolf? Do you rember how freaked out you and James were? How long it took for you to come around? The two of you practically turned your backs on him when you found out."

"I came around. It's not every day you find out one of your best friends is a were wolf." He reasoned with her. He saw James standing infron of the womping willow.

"Oye! Prongs!" He didn't hear Sirius, so Sirius let out a high pitched whistle that caught James's attention.

"There you two are."

"Has Wormtail gone in yet?"

"Yeah. The Womping Willow should come to a stand-still soon." He'd barely said that when it came to a stop.

"Let's go." Lily said as she slid down first followed by James. Sirius saw Remus, or rather the werewolf version of Remus.

"Damn! He's coming get moving!" He shouted at his friends. He whistled to get Remus's attention and then jumped into the entrance. Lily'd already gotten into the Shrinking Shack and James turned into a stag. It took Sirius a fourth of a second to turn into the dog which was all the time he'd had as Remus came into the hallway. James and Sirius stood their ground before their cursed friend knowing he'd turn back into his normal self in a matter of seconds. Remus fell to the ground in a fit of convulsions before changing back. It looked horribly painful. After they were sure he was back they turned back into themselves. Sirius approached Remus carefully.

"You alright Moony?"

"Yeah... I think...I think so."

"Come on out Lily! He's turned back!" James shouted towards the Shrieking Shack.

Lily came out and rushed to his side. She checked his pulse and other medi-wizard things. It was the whole reason they let her come out. She knew before they did. She'd taken care of him when he'd first gotten to Hogwarts. Remus was a pitiful site when he turned back into a human from a werewolf. For the next few days he would apologize for everything and act like a guilty child. What bothered Sirius most about it was he had nothing to be sorry for.

"He's alright." She said looking up at the three Mauderer's, she turned her attention towards Remus. "Remus. Remus, Sirius is going to stay with you tonight okay?"

"That's fine." He said absent mindedly.

"He'll start coming to his senses over the course of the night. Be fair to him Sirius, he's scared out of his mind."

"Alright Lils, I'll take care of him if you take care of Sid."

"Deal."

Lily, James, and Peter made their ways back to the Castle in a hurry. It'd taken longer than any of them expected and they knew they were out past curfew. James and Lily were under the Invisibility Cloak and Peter was going a different way as a rat to avoid the Professors which never made much sense to Lily since the school was full of cats, but to each his own. They'd all three gotten back to the Common Room without getting caught or eaten. Lily sighed as she headed up towards her room, knowing good and well Sidney was waiting for her. She opened the door slowly and quietly incase she got lucky and Sidney was asleep, but she wasn't.

"Have fun?"

"Not really,"

"Where'd you go?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

"Where's Sirius?"

"Can't tell you that either."

"Alright where's Remus then?"

"That either. You've got 16 of these to go."

"Lily I can't live with secrets."

"Well you'll have to make due with this one."

"Is James back?"

"Yes, he's probably asleep, like we should be," She said turning the lamp off and ending all converstation with Sidney.

Sirius had gotten Remus into the Shrieking Shack and sat on the bed watching Remus's behavior.This wasn't the first time he'd stayed with Remus, but it was the first time Remus was this shaken up. He kept trying to talk him into the present. That he was okay and not being attacked by the werewolf that'd cursed him for life.

"Remus, do you rember Sidney?"

"Yeah. She's safe."

"Yeah she is Remus, you rember she's going to have a baby?"

"A little girl?" He said looking at Sirius.

"Yeah a baby girl."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Remus. Not a damn thing."

"Yes I do. I'm a werewolf."

"That's not your fault."

"Yes it is."

"No Remus it's not."

"You're wrong."

"No Remus, you can't help it. The best you can do is take your potions and not blame yourself."

"Stop it!"

"Remus. It's okay, you're in Hogwarts you're okay,"

"Stop.. just please stop"

Sirius stopped talking and just watched Remus on his side, rolled up into a ball, crying himself senseless. It killed him to see Remus like that, but there wasn't anything he could do to help him. When he got back he'd imagine Sidney would be angry with him, but he had a duty to Remus to help him when this happened. He had no doubts if roles where reversed Remus would sit and watch over him and talk him into the present.

He wasn't completely wrong. Remus didn't turn his back on him, but he didn't believe him when he said he didn't kill James and Lily either.


	9. Forgivness

Sirius was awakened by Remus. "5 more minutes Prongs," He said tiredly and turned over.

"Come on Sirius, it's nine-thirty. We're completely late."

"Nine...Nine-thirty!" He jumped awake, but he tripped over the loose floor board and fell in the floor. " Ouch."

"Come on Padfoot, get up here." Sirius took Remus's help up off of the floor.

"Thanks, you feeling alright Moony? You were pretty bad off last night,"

"I'm fine Sirius. Let's atleast go to one of our classes."

"If we have to."

They walked back to the Castle and quickly grabbed their books, and practically ran to their second class. Sirius saw Sidney sitting next to Lily. All Sidney did was look up at him and glare and then turn back around towards the professor. James waved his hand at Sirius to catch his attention so he would take his seat.

"And what Mr. Lupin,may I ask, took you so long!"

"W-we w-woke up late,s-sir." Remus said in a stutter, looking down at the table.

"All of your fellow Griffindors were here on time. Why not you and Mr. Black?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cover it, Mr. Lupin!" Professor Beegley screeched as he hit the desk with his fist, making Remus flinch.

"He said he was sorry!" Sirius yelled at him.

"Don't you talk to me in that tone of voice, Mr. Black!." He said walking over to Sirius.

"Than you shouldn't either." Sirius said standing up to the challenge and looking his Professor in the eye.

"Get out. The both of you get out of my class." He turned around to look at Remus. "Now!" Remus jumped up grabbing his things and almost bolted out the door. Sirius grabbed his things and left after giving Professor Beegley one last glare.

He turned his head to see Remus propped up against the wall with his head in his hands.

"You alright Moony?"

"Yeah." He took his hands from his face. "Yeah Sirius, I'm fine." Sirius noticed his hands were shaking.

"Look Remus, Beegley's a complete bastard. Don't listen to a thing he says."

"I know. I know."

"Besides it's like Lily says, sorry's always good enough."

"Well good cause Sidney's gonna come out of there and let you know how sorry you are."

"I know. God love the woman."

"Why her Sirius?"

"Well I liked her because at first I couldn't have her, and then once I did, I wasn't ever going to let her go."

"I hope I find someone like that for me, I mean James has Lily, you have Sidney."

"Remus, you will find someone like that for you, and when you do, you will completely deserve her."

"Thanks Sirius,"

"Ah come on now, what are Marauder's for huh?"

Remus chuckled at the joke when Sidney, Lily, and James came out of the classroom. Lily went straight for Remus, giving him a back-breaking hug, but he made no attempts to get a way from her.

"It's okay Lily, I'm alright." He told her in a soft reassuring voice.

Sirius snapped back to reality after seeing Sidney stomping off out of the corner of his eye. Needless to say he went after.

"Sidney wait!"

"No!"

"Sid!"

She turned around and threw the heaviest book she had landing Sirius right in the face. He yelped in pain and glared at her.

"Now what was that for!"

"For being an insensitive, uncaring, prat you are!"

"Why am I insensitive!"

"Not trusting me!"

"Well then that makes me untrusting too, does it not?"

He chased her into a dead end with no one else around and held his ground.

"Let's do a truce Sidney, please?"

"No."

"Come on, you can't be like this. Can you atleast be civil with me for our daughters sake?"

He said as he edged up to her and putting a hand on her growing stomach. It took every ounce of self control he had to not do that of every second of every day. He loved Sidney and his daughter so much that it hurt. He just didn't know how much it was going to. She threw her arms around him and he did the same lifting her off the ground and setting her back down after a few seconds.

"I'm sorry Sidney. I really am. I love you so much." He said into her neck.

"I love you too."

"Sid baby what's the matter?"

" Nothing it's just...I want to be apart of your life Sirius. All of it the good and bad."

"Sidney, I didn't leave last night for me."

"Then what'd you leave for?"

"He left for me."

They broke their hug to see just Remus himself standing there.

"Remus, you don't have to."

"No, Sirius it's alright. It's my secret."

"What's going on?" Sidney asked a hint of fear in her voice.

" Sidney. I have known James,Lily, Sirius, and even Peter since our first year, but there's something else I've known even before that."

"Remus are you sick?" She asked with more fear in her voice and her eyes were wide and sparkling with tears.

"Yeah, in a way I'm very sick."

"What's wrong?" She asked stepping away from Sirius.

"Do you know about werewolves?"

"Little bit."

"I got bitten by a werewolf when I was six years old."

" Oh my god."

"I started having full blown reactions to it when I was ten and a year later I got accepted into Hogwarts."

"Oh my god." She said again.

She started staggering and her eyelids got heavy and before she knew it she was engulfed in black unconsciousness. Sirius caught her before she fell to the ground. Remus dashed to her side and looked up at Sirius with eyes full of fear.

"I'm sorry Sirius, oh god I'm so sorry."

"Hey, she's just fainted. She's fine." He said in an attempted to reassure both Remus and himself. His hand drifted subconsciously to her stomach and he felt the baby moving. It didn't feel right to him, the baby was shifting way too much.

"Help me get her to the Hospital Wing,"

"Wha-What?"

"Now! Help me get her to the damn hospital wing!"

Remus jumped at Sirius's tone. His adrenaline spiked, because he knew that something had to be very wrong for Sirius to speak to him like that. He propped Sidney's left arm over his neck as Sirius took the other side as they started off towards the Hospital Wing as a fast pace. They passed Lily and James. Lily started her twenty questions and James just followed them like a lost puppy. After what seemed like an eternity to Sirius they'd made it to the Hospital Wing.

"Ma'dam Pomfrey!"

"What Mr. Black?" She turned the corner to see Sirius putting Sidney down on a free cot. "What happened!"

"She's fainted. Something's wrong with our baby." He said staring off into space and pulling at his hair.

"Her blood-pressures way too high, the baby's heart rate is low."

"What's that supposed to mean!" He shouted at the older woman without meaning to.

"It means she's going to have to operate on Sidney, Sirius." Lily said quietly, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What are you going to do?" He asked his voice full of fear.

"I'm going to have to perform a cerserean,"

"Lily?" He managed to choke out.

"It's a muggle way Sirius, she's going to perform a surgery to take the baby out of Sidney."

"It's too early! Why don't you do something like a real healer!"

"Her blood pressures too high for me to even attempt. She's seven and a half months along, she'll be fine."

"What about my baby?" He asked her swallowing hard.

"I can't make any promises. Now please leave so I can get started." She said in a pleading voice with a sympathetic look for the 7th year.

"What do you mean you can't make any promises?"

"Come on Sirius. There's nothing else you can do." Lily said trying to talk him into reality.

"I can't leave her,"

"Come on Sirius." Remus said pulling him back some by his shoulder.

"Come on Padfoot. It'll be fine." James said dragging him out of the Hospital Wing.

"Get off me! I need to stay, Sid would want me to stay!" He said losing all composure.

"Sidney would want you to do what's best for your baby Sirius. Come on." Lily said giving him a sympathetic look through her own tears.

It took both Remus and James to get Sirius out of the Hospital Wing. He was so distraught, he was pacing quickly up and down the halls where the rest of them sat on the floor leaned up against the wall.

"Lily, you know a little about Healers right?"

"Yes Sirius, I do." She told him standing up.

"What chances do I have of my baby living?"

"About 60 percent."

He lost it again and Lily wrapped her arms around him and he lost more of his composure.

"I can't lose my baby Lily. I can't."

"I know honey, god, I know."


	10. Happy ending to a shakey start

" I know honey, god I know," Lily said hugging him tightly letting him release all his emotions that were building up.

After several minutes Sirius had regained his composure and about another hour of nerve racking waiting for all four of them Ma'dam Pomfrey came out.

"Well?" Sirius asked wiping his eyes.

"I made a miscaculation."

Sirius's heart dropped to his feet. "Wha-What?"

"Miss Edwards flatlined during surgery for 30 seconds."

"Is she alright?"

"Yes Mr. Black, but with the anthestics I've put her on it'll take a good 36 hours before she regains full consiousness."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "What about the baby?"

"She made it through surgery. She's 6 pounds 9 ounces."

Sirius grinned from ear to ear and looked back at his friends. Lily had jumped into James's arms and he was spinning her around in circles and Remus looked like a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Can I see them?"

"Yes of course."

Ma'dam Pomfrey led Sirius into the Hospital Wing where his ears were greeted by the sound of a baby crying. His baby crying. He followed the noise to the curtain next to Sidney and pulled it back. That's the first time he saw his little girl. The room fell silent as he got closer to her. She was flailing around in a makeshift bassanet. He carefully picked her up to get a better look at her. She was perfect. She had a full head of raven black hair. She had the peircing blue eyes of her mother and was a mix between the two in her face, but most of her face was Sidney's. A gentle and content face you could look at forever.

"You're alright." He said taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to bring his adrinaline level down. " Daddy's here."

She starting calming at the sound of his voice. There were nights that there was just the two of them down in the Common Room and he'd talk to the baby for hours. He smiled at the memory, as Lily came into the corner of his eye. She leaned on his shoulder to get a better look at the baby.

"She's beautiful," She gasped in awe.

"She's the spiting image of Sid," Remus in a hushed tone.

"I want one." James said getting a good look at her and turning around to Lily. Lily's jaw fell and Sirius smirked listening to the situation as best he could, but he couldn't take his eyes off of his daughter.

" Aren't I the one that's supposed to say that!"

"I meant eventually!"

"Well eventually, think before you speak okay?"

"Yes Ma'am" James said making a face.

"Hey guys?" Sirius said still not taking his eyes off the baby.

"Yeah Sirius?"

"She's beautiful,"

"Yeah Sirius she is."

"You scared me young lady,"

"She scared all of us,"

"What are you going to name her?"

"I'm going to wait until Sidney wakes up before she has an official name."

Ma'dam Pomfrey walked up unoticed to the rest of them. She smiled at the students. They were all very close ,but a blind man and his dog noticed that.

"The three of you are going to have to leave, I'm about to settle down for the night," She said in a half-mothering, half-professional tone.

"Yes Ma'am"

"It's been a long day," Remus said being the last to walk out.

Sirius followed his friends out with his eyes after saying their goodbyes. He placed his daughter carefully back into the bassanet and she immediately starting to unsettle.

"It's okay, I'm just going to be over there visiting your mum." He whispered to her lovingly. He kissed the top of her head and she began to settle again.

He pulled a chair up next to the cott that Sidney was resting on. He didn't like seeing her so limp and fragile, but she'd never looked more beautiful to him before either. It was a complicated emotion for him. She started to stir as he petted her hair. She smiled as she said his name, and opened her eyes slowly.

"Hey." He said in a hushed tone.

"Sh' 'kay.."

"Yeah Sidney, she's beautiful"

"I wan see," She told him. He noticed her eyes were closing again.

"Go back to sleep, you can see her tomorrow,"

" 'Kay," She went back to sleep, knowing that their baby was fine. Sirius was content with that and walked back over to his daughter carrying the chair. He placed the chair down quietly and carefully next to the bassanet. He was playing with her small fingers as he started talking to her.

"Your mum will see you tomorrow. She had a rough time having you, but that's okay because I have the both of you. I'm not ever going to let either of you go. Not ever. When your mum first told me she was having you I was with your Uncle James and Uncle Remus. We played a joke on this really mean guy called Snape, but I'll tell you about him when your older cause Daddy doesn't really have nice things to say about him. Your Uncle James is a real character you know. I met him our very first day of Hogwarts. He was looking for a place to sit on the train and he came and sat with me. I won't lie to you baby, your daddy isn't the best and smartest guy in the world. I was mean to alot of people, but when I said something mean to your Uncle James, he said something equally as witty. After that I knew we'd be friends until we died. Your Uncle Remus, he's the one I want you to learn from if you learn from any of us, Don't let me forget that one okay?

She smiled at him and started making her baby noises, but silenced almost like she waiting for him to continue talking.

Anyways, your Uncle Remus is a prefect, he's got straight A's. He's morally a good person. He'd never beleive that because he's 'sick', as he calls it. I don't know what we would do without him. Speaking of people you can't live without, if anyone qualifies for that it's your Aunt Lily. She's the smartest witch I've ever met in my entire life. She's your mum's confidant like your Uncle James is to me. She's just a beautiful person, Uncle James would suffer without her. I bet you anything that they'll get married someday. She'd make a great Mrs. Potter don't you think?"

Ma'dam Pomfrey came up and checked Sidney's vital signs. After she was satisfied she went over to Sirius and the baby.

"How's she doing?"

"Great, I was just telling her about things"

"I hate to break this up,"

"Okay just give me an extra minute?"

"Alright,"

" I have to go baby, I'll be back first thing, I promise." He kissed her fist gently and walked towards the door after saying his goodbyes to Sidney. He walked up to the Tower and quietly walked into the bedroom careful not to wake anyone up. He changed and went over to the bunk that he and James shared and noticed that Lily was in the bed with James. He pulled a lock of hair off of her face and she woke up to his touch.

"Sirius?"

"Hey Lils, what are you doing in here?" He whispered.

"It gets lonely in there by yourself."

He beleived her. He'd been in Sidney and Lily's room on more than one occasion and it was creepy in there with the others. He couldn't imagine it all alone. No amount of bad thoughts could ruin the feelings he was feeling.

"Go to sleep baby doll, I didn't mean to wake you."

He went to sleep with all the good feelings in the world.


	11. Happiness all those years ago

**A/N: I'm biting my nails on this one. Let me know if its a complete train/car wreck.**

Sirius woke up earlier than he intended to. He sat up in bed and rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes and saw Professor Dumbledore sitting in the chair across the room. He jumped backwards realizing that he really was there and he wasn't imagining things.

"I didn't mean to startle you," The old man began.

"Professor? What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to congratulate you personally." He said walking up to the bunk. Sirius knew that he'd seen Lily. " I guess we'll have to update the security on how the opposite gender gets into the dorms." He said simply and resumed his conversation with Sirius.

" I heard that your daughter had a rather traumatic birth,"

"Yeah, Sidney's blood pressure got too high or something, " He said shifting uncomfortably. It was weird having the Headmaster in his room. It was like having James's mum or dad in the room. The only adults he cared for. He just prayed Lily didn't wake before Dumbledore left.

" Your excused from classes for the next week Mr. Black,"

"Thank- Thank you sir,"

"Don't thank me yet," He said raising a hand to silence him. " You will be expected to keep up all of your lessons,"

"Wait, I can't do that without being there to learn"

"Then I hope your a quick study Mr. Black, Ms. Evans has agreed to tutor you over your lessons, and word has it she doesn't have the best temperament. Good day," He said excusing himself.

It was official. Lily loved him. He jumped down from his bunk and started shaking Lily awake.

"Lil!" He said in a loud whisper. "Lily wake up!"

"Sirius?" She said squinting her eyes at the unwelcome sunlight.

"I love you!" He said pulling her away from James and hugging her tightly.

"Mmm? What's going on with you?"

"Dumbledore was just here. He told me what you did!"

"Wait! Dumbledore was here!"' She said in a panicked tone.

"Yeah. He said you agreed to tutor me!"

"Dumbledore was here?" She repeated. They were having two different conversations as always.

"He saw you. He didn't care to much, you agreed to tutor me?" He said trying to get on the same page.

"Well of course, you may be the most annoying man in the world, but I love you for it."

"I love you too!" He said picking her up off the ground in a hug.

"Sirius, you're squishing me."

He sat her down quickly. "Sorry."

James got up out of his bed and put his arms around Lily. "She's mine Padfoot," He said jokingly. Sirius knew he was getting insecure about the relationship between Lily and him. He knew that James knew he would never do anything to harm James intentionally or otherwise, he just needed a little reminder.

"James, I'm more likely to have an affair with _Peter _than take Lily away from you. Besides I'm completely happy with the one I have."

"Thanks for the visual there Sirius," Remus said stretching." Where is Peter anyways?"

"He's probably in the kitchens for all I care. I'm going down to the Hospital."

"Bye Sirius." Remus and James said in unison.

"Say hi for me."

He ran down to the Hospital Wing and went over to Sidney's cot and pulled back the curtain. She wasn't there. He heard someone's voice behind the curtain where his daughter resided. He quickly pulled back the curtain and saw Sidney sitting in the chair talking to their daughter like he previously had except she had her weight leaned into the bassinet like she couldn't support herself. It'd only been 24 hours since she'd been heavily sedated so that was probably the cause. She turned around to see their intruder.

"Hey Sirius," She said in a tired voice that further proved his theory.

"Hey baby,"

"Don't you have classes?"

"No, I got excused. How's she doing today?"

"She's fine. She's perfect Sirius," She said in an admiring tone that hardly belonged to her.

"Well," He said picking her up from the chair and sitting down with her in his lap. "With so much of you in her, how could she not be?"

"You're really sweet you know that?"

"I know, so have you thought of any names for her?"

"What do you think about naming her after my mum?"

"Depends on your mums name sweetheart,"

"Lindsey,"

"Lindsey huh?"

"If you don't want to that's fine."

"No, No Lindsey sounds perfect for her,"

"What's the matter then?"

"I was just trying to think of a good middle name."

"I had some ideas about that to,"

"What'd you come up with?"

"Caitlin,"

"Lindsey Caitlin?"

"No, Lindsey Caitlin Black,"

"I like it,"

"You do?"

"Yeah babe, it's perfect for her."

"I'm glad you think so,"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing,"

"Sidney Marie.." He scolded playfully.

"I was wondering what's going to happen when we go back to classes. We pulled off a miracle keeping it a secret when I was pregnant. Now that she's born..."

" Let's worry about that bridge when we come to it., I'm off for the rest of the week ,and Lily's agreed to tutor me."

"That was nice of her and slightly odd for her as well,"

"She's Lily, she does this kind of thing for the people she loves,"

"So she loves us now?"

"Yeah, but we love her more,"

They were snapped out of there conversation when their daughter started crying. When Lindsey started crying, Sirius corrected himself.

"Would you get her Sirius? My arms are still a little weak and I'm terrified of dropping her,"

"You don't have to ask me twice,"

He picked Sidney up and sat her back in the chair and went over and gently picked his daughter up.

"Hey you. I told you I'd be back, yeah my little Lindsey,"

She started to settle back down and fell back asleep against the warmth of his body. "You're great with her,"

"She knows she's mine,"

"Defiantly a daddy's girl."

"She'll be fine with you once your strong enough to hold her,"

"You don't know that,"

"Yeah I do, there's no way you won't be good with her."

" I don't know"

"Well then, you might as well get over your fears now." He said placing Lindsey back down in the bassinet and picked Sidney back up and put her in the previous position.

"What are you doing?"

"Pick her up,"

"Sirius, I've already told you I'm too weak!"

"I'm going to help you now, relax"

"What are you getting at?"

"Just do it Sid, for once in your life do something on impulse."

Sidney put her shaking arms around Lindsey and gently scooped her up. She was terrified of holding her until she felt Sirius's arms under her own. He was supporting her arms under the weight of their fragile daughter. She never wanted that moment to end.


	12. Encounter with Regulus

It'd been a month since Lindsey was born and both Sirius and Sidney were back in school. They had a month of school left and they had some serious decisions to make. Sirius was biting his nails listening to Professor Beegley drone on and on about something. Word was bound to get out about Lindsey and he had "cousins" that attended Hogwarts and would love to be the first to tell his mother and father that he'd had a daughter out of wedlock and by a muggleborn at that. He had to come up with a plan and fast.

"How about you Mr. Black?"

"Sir?"

"What, Mr. Black would you do if one of your comrades were bitten by a musculus-schrombos?" He said irritably as always.

"Musculus-schrombos, is a big word saying muscle mosquito, a simple healing potion would suffice."

"Very good Mr. Black, "

James nudged him in the side. "What's the matter?"

"Just got a lot on my mind,"

"You're telling me at the end of class,"

"Gladly."

He noticed Lily was writing notes with Sidney. The both of them didn't seem to happy. He was brought from his musings when he heard a knock from the door behind him. He turned to see Professor Mcgonnagall.

"Mr. Black, Ms. Edwards. The Headmaster needs to see you in his office immediately."

He sighed and stood up and gathered his books. He had a gut feeling he'd be awhile. He waited on Sidney and followed her out. They walked up to the giant eagle and stepped up on the stairs. Professor Mcgonnagall bid them farewell and said the password.

"Sirius, what do you think he's going to say?"

"I don't know."

They both stepped off of the stairs and took their seats. Professor Dumbledore was waiting for them.

"As you both are aware, the school year ends in a months time. Seeing that you are 7th year this is your last year here at Hogwarts and you'll graduate . What are your plans for yourselves and the child?"

"We haven't made any yet sir,"

"I see, are your parents aware that you even have a child, Mr. Black?"

"No sir, and I don't intend for them to."

"I see, what about you Ms. Edwards? Does your parents know?"

"My father sent me a note back in April,"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked shocked.

She ignored him and continued talking to Professor Dumbledore. "But I haven't heard from him since then."

"When you do I'd appreciate it if you told me straight away,"

"Of course sir,"

"Are the two of you going to keep your daughter?"

"Well of course," Sirius said aggravation shone through his tone.

"Mr. Black, where are you going when you graduate? Where are you going to live? How are you going to make money?"

Sirius was a bit taken back by the assault of questions.

"I'm going to be an auror, I'm going to rent an apartment in London. I'm going to be a father to my daughter."

"Okay, expect to be called into my office again," He said excusing them.

They got off of the stairs. "Sidney, is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you about the letter,"

"When? After Lindsey graduated Hogwarts herself!"

"Don't you raise your voice at me Sirius Black! I am the mother of your child!"

Just after she said that he saw someone run out of the corner of his eye. His instincts screamed that it was Regulus, his brother. He took after him.

"Sirius!" Sidney screamed after him before taking off herself. Sirius caught his younger brother and slammed up against the wall.

"Hello brother," Regulus said evilly.

"What did you hear!"

"Something mum will find very interesting."

"Oh yeah that's it!" He screamed at Regulus before throwing him on the ground. "Regulus the perfect son, always doing the right thing and mum just loves you, doesn't she!" He said kicking Regulus in the face.

"Sirius stop it!" Sidney screamed at him.

"Wait until she shows her true colors to you, you pathetic son of a bitch!" He yelled at Regulus,picking him up by his collar. " You tell her. I promise you little brother I will strangle you with my bare hands"

"Sirius, that's enough." He heard James's voice say.

"Yeah, let him go Sirius," He heard Lily say.

He let him go giving him one last glare. He knew that Regulus was scared to tell his mother now, but it didn't mean he wouldn't tell one of his cousins. He turned around to see Sidney, Lily and James looking at him like he was crazy.

"I'm sorry, Sid. I shouldn't have done that in front of you. You either Lils"

"Hey, hey it's alright you were just protecting yourself and Lindsey." Sidney say giving him a hug.

"You want to fill us in?" James said.

"Sirius can. I've got a fussy baby to tend to." She said before taking off towards the Hospital Wing.

"Well?" Lily said in the infamous pose. Her hands were on her hips with an impatient look on her face.

"Just making some arrangements. James what are you doing when you get out of school?"

"I'm going to work in the ministry as a director for deatheater recapturement."

" What about you Lils?"

"Medi-Wizard, I'm going to work in the E.R at St. Mungos."

"So, I'm the only one who didn't have a career?"

"I thought you were going to be an Auror?"

"I was just telling people that, but I guess I am now,"

"Remus is going to be an Auror, no word on Peter though,"

"You really do know everything, don't you?" James said.

"Alright you guys, I'm going to go see what Sidney and Lindsey are up too,"

"Alright man, no more fights alright," He said giving Sirius a brotherly hug.

"Alright."

"Be good, say hi for me." Lily said giving Sirius a hug too.

He went into the Hospital Wing and saw Sidney crying. Scratch crying she was out right sobbing.

"Sidney, hey, Sid what's the matter?" He said wrapping his arms around her.

"Remember that letter I was expecting from my father?"

"Yeah,"

"Well it came," She pulled away from him and handed it to him.

_Dear Sidney,_

_It's been awhile since I've communicated with you. I heard that you had the child, and almost died doing so. It's also come to my attention the father of this child is none other than the young Sirius Black. I've told you that I didn't want you around him and you deliberately disobeyed me! I should send you a Howler but nothing I've ever said to you made any difference so I'm not going to waste anymore energy on the matter. If you don't give this child up for adoption I'll have the paperwork filed for custody of this child and I'll do it myself and I'll have you written out of the Edwards crest and wills. You have 24 hours to send me your response._

_Your Mother would of been deeply disappointed in you. I am deeply disappointed in you._

_John Edwards.. _

"Oh Sidney," He said hugging her tightly. It hurt him to read the letter and it wasn't even aimed at him.

"Sirius, we're in trouble."

"We'll get through it. When the judge hears our side of it and Dumbledore is on our side we'll be able to keep her. He's not going to take her away from us,"

"He's my father Sirius. He knows what he's talking about."

"Who needs him Sidney? He threatened you."

"I do Sirius, he's the only family I've got."

" No he's not. Lindsey and I are your family and James, Lily, Remus they love you like family. We don't need him" He pleaded with her.

" And Lindsey deserves better than two misfits who can't even take care of themselves. Let alone her."

"We'll find away." He said tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

" But at her expense Sirius? It's not fair."

"You can't be serious about giving her up,"

"I am Sirius, think about it!"

"I am Sid and if we do give her up she runs the risk of falling into a family of deatheaters or worse! I won't let you do that to her."

"Sirius you're thinking the worst case scenario, and you know that deatheaters only want pureblood children. Lindsey's not pureblooded."

"That's not necessarily true Sid,"

"How do you know?"

"Because I've got a whole lot of relatives that are dead because they were stupid and followed Voldemort!"

She flinched slightly at the mentioning of the evil wizard but regained her composure." It won't happen to her. I'll take her through muggle adoption."

"So what? She can end up in a closed minded family and she gets her acceptance letters to Hogwarts and they treat her badly?"

"They'll be her parents they'll love and understand her!"

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do! I'm going to give her a better life with or without your support!" She said holding her ground.

Those words echoed through his head and he looked at Sidney. She was serious. He couldn't take it anymore. He got up and left the Hospital Wing.


	13. Before you get better

A/N: Thank you all for your patience. I hope this chapter does the story justice.

This chapter was enspired by the song Just feel better by Santana and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.

Later that night Sirius was sitting in the common room on the couch watching the fire burn itself out. It was all he could do to not sit there and cry. His chest and eyes were burning. He was hurting like he'd never hurt before and technically nothing had happened yet. He knew Sidney wasn't going to change her mind. She never did whether right or wrong. There was no way he could get sole custody of Lindsey, and even if he did there was no way he'd be able to raise her alone. He didn't have a place to stay, and he loved Lindsey enough not to drag her through that while he got it together. He didn't know what to do, what to feel, or how to justify it to himself and until he did he'd sit right there in front of that fire wishing that time would stop. He was so wrapped up he didn't notice James, Remus and Lily come in.

"Hey Sirius." Lily greeted him cheerfully. He didn't hear her though.

"What's the matter man?" James asked him gently shaking him after not getting a response himself.

"What?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, nothing is the exact opposite of what you look like now. What's wrong? Where's Sidney?" Remus asked.

The name Sidney made his heart break more.

"She's in the Hospital Wing I guess," He said his voice cracking against his will.

"Hey, Sirius what's the matter?" He was still silent. It was making her nervous. "You can talk to us." Lily asked getting on her knees, to his level.

"Umm, Sidney's decided that we aren't fit to keep Lindsey,"

"What!" They all said in unison.

"Yeah, and she's left me with no choice in the matter. She doesn't care what I think, or how I feel about it." He said slowly losing more of his composure.

"Oh honey," Lily said giving him a tight hug.

"Sirius start from the beginning." James demanded in a concerned tone for his best friend.

"Well, when I went to go see them in the Hospital Wing. She had a letter from her father, and it basically said give Lindsey up or I'll disown you. I thought she would keep her guys. I really did. We had the worst fight we've ever had and she said she was giving Lindsey up with or without me."

"Sirius, that's awful." Remus said sitting on the arm of the couch.

"It was in the heat of an argument, she probably didn't mean it." Lily said trying to find a reason for her friend's actions.

"No Lily, she meant it. With every fiber of her being she meant what she said to me."

"I'm sorry Sirius." James said, his voice full of sympathy. It wasn't much to offer but it was all James could think to say.

"Look, you two stay with him. I've got business to tend to."

"Stay away from her Lily, she didn't listen to me she's not going to listen to you." Sirius said finally letting Lily go.

"Okay Sirius,"

She was going to the Hospital Wing to sort all of this out. Sidney had lost her mind and there was no way Lily was just going to sit there and let her take what was left of Sirius's heart down with her. She walked right through the doors of the Hospital Wing and went right over to Lindsey's bassinet and saw Sidney there talking to her.

"What's this I hear about you giving Lindsey up?"

"Oh Jeez!" She took a deep breath. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Oh you mean like your scaring Sirius with all this talk about giving up his baby!"

"It's not a threat, I really am giving Lindsey up."

"You're kidding," She could not believe her ears.

"No," Sidney said in a smart ass tone that set Lily off.

"Outside now,"

"You can't-"

"Look, I've things to say to you that aren't appropriate for a Hospital or a child. So yeah, I can. Go outside or I will drag you out" Lily said glaring daggers and warning in her tone.

Sidney scoffed and walked outside with Lily behind her.

"I just want to let you know, there's nothing you can say to me that will change my mind,"

"You're the most selfish person I've ever met in my life you know that!"

"I'm selfish for wanting to give my daughter a better life?"

"You and I both know that's not why you're doing it."

"Then why am I doing it Ms. Knowledge!"

"You're doing it because you're scared of you're father! You're doing it because you don't believe in Sirius to come through for you! You don't believe in yourself!"

She was interrupted when Sidney's hand collided with her face. Sidney had just smacked her.

"You didn't just hit me!"

"You shut- up about my reasons for doing this! It has nothing to do with you!"

"When you ruin my friend's life, It does have something to do with me!" She socked Sidney in the jaw. Sidney's hands went to the sore spot and when she pulled them back there was blood on her fingertips.

"If you do this, I want you gone. I don't want you anywhere near Sirius ever again." She said her voice full of hatred and warning. She walked away from Sidney and headed towards the Griffindor tower. She came in quietly and saw James and Remus leaning over Sirius, who was bent over. He had his head in his hands and heartbreaking sobs were racking his shoulders.

"It'll be alright Sirius. We're all here for you." James told him firmly as he wrapped his arms around Sirius's opposite shoulder.

Lily knew that this wasn't going to turn out well. When James called Sirius by his proper name in that tone, well let's just say it sent shivers down her spine.

"What's the damage?" She said coming up next to Remus noticing the sad look in his eyes.

"Sirius doesn't believe that Sidney wouldn't do this to him."

"She's giving the baby up." She said in a hushed tone being careful that Sirius didn't hear her.

"You're joking,"

"I wish I could tell you yes,"

"Do you know when?"

"Didn't get a chance, I hit her and told her to stay away if she really did go through with this, and I think she will."

"Damn." He said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Lil-Lily," Sirius said trying to draw some breath.

"Yeah honey,"

"Wha-What'd s-she say?"

"I didn't go honey,"

"Yes- you did. I-I know you did,"

"She didn't tell me anything that you didn't already know," She said in a quiet, calming tone as she brought his head against her stomach in a hug.

"Don't let her do this Lily." She was started when he suddenly pulled her close to him. He said breaking down the worst anyone could, his entire body was racking with sobs. Lily could almost feel his heartbreaking as he pressed his head deeper into her stomach and pulling her closer to him.

"Why don't you guys go on up to bed. You both look tired."

"You can't get up in the bedroom-" Remus started being the caring guy he was.

"He's not sleeping tonight. If he does I'll leave him on the couch."

"Goodnight Lily, night Sirius,"

"G'night babe." He put his hand down on Sirius's back. "It'll be alright man, whatever happens."

Sirius just nodded. Lily looked at him with a caring face. It couldn't of been easy for James to see Sirius so distraught either.

"Goodnight James," James walked towards the staircase slowly giving Lily one last look. "I'll take care of him."

James went up the stairs. Sirius still hadn't stopped.

"Hey Sirius, It's going to be okay."

"No," He said shaking his head slightly.

"We're going to take care of you, James, Remus and me. We love you," She sighed and whispered into his ear. "You don't need Sidney."

"Yes-Yes I- do," He started trying to draw some breath." I need her- and Lin" He stopped she knew if he said it out loud it would probably kill him if this entire thing didn't and Lily quit her interrogation. Seeing her rock like this made her already aching heart break.

"I'm here honey, I'm right here."

"D-Don't leave me Lily- I'm sorry I screwed up-"

"I'm never leaving you alone Sirius-never."


	14. The ending before the next beginning

Lily had spent the entire night with Sirius. She never left him alone like she'd promised. He'd stopped crying right before the sun rose, which felt ironic to Lily she just wasn't sure why.

"I'm sorry,"

"For what honey?"

"Keeping you up all night just so you could watch me howl."

"You'd do the same for me, Sirius."

"I beat James's brains in if he made do something even _remotely_ similar to this."

"Well I punched Sidney if it makes you feel better,"

"Kind of,"

"A week."

"What?"

"A week left until Hogwarts is over, for good."

"Why don't you leave all of this here Sirius?"

"I wish I could. But you don't forget your children, as much as you try you can't understand that. I'll carry Lindsey around with me forever."

"James, Remus and I are going to be here forever and after that."

"Even in death?" He said smiling at her.

"Even in death. My mother always told me that people who died merely went to heaven and waited for the rest of their family, watching over them, that kind of thing. She always said if you paid attention you could still feel their presence."

"Do you believe that?"

"Sort of. I guess it depends on how much you meant to each other."

They were interrupted when they heard the Common Room door open and Professor Mcgonnagall appeared.

"Mr. Black. Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office immediately. Ms. Edwards is already there."

"I'm going to get changed and I'll be right there, Professor. Lily why don't you get some sleep? You look tired,"

"Okay," She hugged him." Take care,"

"I'll be good."

"He dragged himself into his room and changed. If there was one thing in his entire life he could just avoid it was this, but he couldn't and he knew that. He'd just have to solider up and hope he could handle it. He walked into the Headmaster's office where Sidney was sitting in a chair across from the Headmaster. That he was expecting, what he wasn't expecting was Lindsey there. She was in the bassinet next the desk. She was flailing around and making gurgling noises. He just closed his eyes, took a deep breath and took his own seat. He had told himself while getting dressed he wasn't going to let Sidney bother him. She didn't matter to him anymore.

"Well now that we're all here. Mr. Black, Ms. Edwards tells me that you two have in fact decided to put your daughter up for adoption."

"I didn't consent to that Professor Dumbledore. Sidney's doing this completely on her own." He said still not looking at her.

"Do you, have an objection to putting this child up for adoption?"

"Yes! I love my daughter and I want to keep her!"

"Sirius, we've been through this already!" Sidney yelled breaking her silence.

"No you've been through this! I still love Lindsey and I want what's best for her!"

"Then let her go, because that's what's best for her!"

"No it's not! It's a way for you to run a way from responsibility like you always do!"

"You son-"

"Silence!" Professor Dumbledore bellowed getting both of their attentions. " Now the both of you will take your seats and act like responsible mature adults! understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong but Ms. Edwards wants to put the child up for adoption, and Mr. Black wants to keep her?"

"That's correct sir."

"Well then, Ms. Edwards, why don't you go first?"

"Professor. We are both 17 years old and I don't believe we have the maturity or the abilities it takes to raise a baby,. She deserves someone who's older and can actually distinguish things"

"I see and Mr. Black?"

"Putting someone up for adoption is a gamble whether or not they end up in a happy home or get thrown around in foster care until their 18th birthday."

"She'll be coming to Hogwarts when she's eleven." Sidney mumbled.

"She could be muggle Sidney! You said it yourself you're muggle-born!"

"And your a pureblood big deal there's a good chance she is a witch and you know it!"

"This isn't about whether she's a witch or not! I'm not going to gamble my daughter's well being because you want to be self centered bitch!"

"Watch your tongue Mr. Black!"

"Yes sir."

"Well then you do it!"

"Excuse me?"

"You take her. You raise her, and I promise you Sirius Black you won't ever hear from me again."

"I can't raise her alone."

"Have your little family help you. James and Remus and Lily, they'll be absolutely glad to."

"They can't feed her, they don't have a maternal bond with her! They can't tell her that her own mother loves her!"

"Then god help them!" She got up and stormed out.

After she was gone he turned around to look at Professor Dumbledore.

"Mr. Black." He cleared his throat. " I have a family in the Hospital Wing, The Truman's, they are a wizarding family, they have 2 children already their ages are 5 and 4 years old, and they wanted a third child but were in cable of conceiving one."

"They want to adopt Lindsey don't they?"

"Yes, Mr. Black. I've checked them out. They're completely capable. Their not deatheaters or apart of any other dark magic cults. They simply want another child to love as their own."

"Can-Can I meet them?"

"Of course Mr. Black."

Sirius and Professor Dumbledore went down to the Hospital Wing with Lindsey in Sirius's arms. He tried to keep his mind on anything but her, and it wasn't working well. He sat her down in a bassinet and two little kids came up to it and looked at her in awe.

"She beauful-" The little girl told Sirius.

"Yeah she is, what's your name?" He asked the little girl innocently.

"Becca-"

"Becca, huh? That's a pretty name."

"Think so?"

"Yes ma'am I do. Is that your brother?"

"Yeah, his name is Damien he's a little shy."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Children!" He heard an older woman scold lightly. She came in from behind the curtains, she wasn't very tall about Lily's height, brown curly hair and the infamous caring mother face. She noticed Sirius's presence as he stood up from the little girls height. "Sorry, they really are well behaved."

"Don't worry about it. Children will be children right?"

"I guess so- Alyssa Truman." She said as she held her hand out and Sirius shook it.

"Sirius Black."

"Sirius- Sirius Black?"

"_Is_ that a problem?"

"Oh no, it's a pleasure to meet you sir. It's just we're the family that wants to adopt Lindsey Black- Is she your daughter?"

"Yes ma'am she is." He said quietly.

"Children, why don't you do something-something-

"Quiet?" Rebecca asked her mother.

"Yeah quiet. Mr. Black, and your father and I need to go have an adult conversation."

"Okay mommy."

"Yes ma'am."

Sirius stepped outside with Alyssa and her husband. His adrenaline had to be well over 10 times what it was supposed to be.

"Sirius, what are you going to do with Lindsey?"

"Mrs. Truman. I'm 18 years old. I'm graduating in a week all I want is what's best for my daughter. Umm her mother ran out on us about 2 minutes ago and I can't raise her by myself."

"Are you comfortable letting us have her?"

"Would you be?"

"Never- giving Rebecca or Damien up would kill me, but I promise you Mr. Black if you trusted us enough to let us raise her you wouldn't be disappointed."

"We'll have to discuss the things."

"Of course."

Professor Dumbledore walked in. "Sorry- was I interrupting something?"

"Professor? Could you draw the adop-tion papers for Lindsey please?" He asked shakingly.

"Of course, Mr. Black. They'll be waiting for you in my office."

"Thank you sir."

"Thank you Mr. Black." Alyssa said quietly giving him a hug.

"We dropped the formalities when you said you wanted my daughter." He said half jokingly.

"Of course." She said smiling.

They were doing the paperwork and they came across the line for Lindsey's legal name. Alyssa had gone to write down Lindsey but Sirius stopped her.

"You don't have to call her Lindsey if you don't want too. Her mother named her that I never particularly cared for it one way or the other."

"What's her middle name?"

"Caitlin."

"What would you have named her?"

"Left up to me probably Sara to keep the 'S.B.' initial going. But that's why I let her mother name her."

"I like it."

"What?"

"Sara Caitlin Lindsey Truman."

"She looks like a Sara doesn't she?" Her husband piped in for the first time the entire conversation.

"I wanna call her Caitlin mommy." Rebecca said like Alyssa should have known.

"Well you can call her Caitlin, honey but her real name is going to be Sara."

"Like everyone calls me Bex but my teacher calls me Rebecca?"

"Exactly like that."

The Truman's went home with Lindsey the next morning. Sirius had spent almost all night in the Hospital Wing with Lindsey, he felt he needed to explain things to her. Even though he knew she probably wasn't going to rember any of them. Sidney,Lily,James, _him _probably none of them. He knew it was probably for the best. He had full faith in Alyssa and her husband to take care of her it didn't make letting her go any easier. He was getting ready for graduation. He was trying to get the hat on right but it kept tilting and he was about to throw it on the ground when he heard a soft giggling from behind her. He turned around to see all four of them standing in the doorway. Lily stepped forward and started walking towards him.

"Let me help you with that."

"I think it's lop-sided."

"I think it's your head that's lop sided Sirius." James said jokingly coming over with the two of them.

"James could be right Sirius." Remus said.

Peter just came to the rest of the group timidly.

"I-I can't b-beleive were graduating."

"Seven years doesn't seem like that long of a time once your at the end of it."

"Yep."

There was a silence thick with tension.

"You guys I'm going to be okay,"

"Lily said you took it pretty hard last night."

" I did- god I sounded like I was dying, but then I realized that in a lot of ways she was wrong, but in the same way she was right."

" That's a little too cryptic for my tastes."

"In James terms He means he and Sidney together could have raised her but there was no way Sirius could do it alone."

"That's a lot of maturity for a Marauder, don't you think?"

"Well despite what you may think your not the only one who can make proper decisions Moony." He said getting him into a playful headlock knocking both of their graduation hats off.

"You guys!" Lily said picking both of their hats up.

"Yeah?" They said stopping for a moment.

"You dropped your hats."

"Hold those for a second would you?" Remus got Sirius unbalanced and Sirius fell in the floor. "Thank you." He said taking his from her hand.

They heard McGonnagall from downstairs. "7th years! Get to the Great Hall now! Or you'll be walking with the 1st years!"

"The Headmistress calls."

"That she does." Lily said as Sirius took his hat from her and placed it correctly on his head.

They graduated and Sirius smiled for pictures. It turned out pretty good in his opinion. Horrible things could have happy endings.


	15. Caitlin Truman

He snapped out of his memories with Harry shaking him. He'd stayed up all night recalling his memories to him and he couldn't beleive it.

"Hey Sirius, were you up all night?"

"No of course not, Go get ready for the train it's nine o'clock already."

"Okay." With that Harry went back upstairs and he heard the soft chuckling of his old friend, Remus Lupin.

"What's so funny Remus?"

"A little birdy told me that Hermione asked you about Lindsey."

"Yeah we need to be sure we are actually alone the next time we're speaking of such things."

"I agree, so what'd she say?"

"Nothing much. I didn't tell her anything really I just sent them back to bed."

"The old 'go back to bed' excuse. Used by many many parents."

"What are you not telling me Remus?"

"What makes you say that, I'm not keeping anything from you."

"Yeah-you kind of are. I've known you well over twenty five years don't you think by now I'd be able to tell what's going on?"

"Alright you've caught me red-handed."

"What?"

"A letter came, umm it was adressed to me. It was from a girl named Caitlin Truman."

_"I wanna call her Caitlin Mommy-"_

"And I can't rember the name of the family that adopted Lindsey. This girl's Lindsey's age Sirius. I think it might be her."

"Well what did it say?"

"Read it for yourself."

**Dear Mr. Lupin.**

**If you are reading this it means I've finally found someone who knew my father. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name's Sara Caitlin Lindsey Black. It's alot of names I know, but I was adopted at a young age and I've always wanted to meet my "real" parents when I was older and I've finally decided I was ready to meet them and I was hoping that maybe you could help me. My real father's name was Sirius Black. He went to school with you. Send me a letter if you have his current address.**

**Truly Yours,**

**Caitlin Truman.**

"What do you want me to do Sirius?"

"I want you to send her my address you idiot.-" He took a deep breath. "I'm finally going to see my baby again."

**Sorry for the shortness but this is all I had! Promise there will be more next time.**


	16. Italian Food

Remus had done as he was told. He sent a letter off to Caitlin Truman telling her that he indeed did have her father's current address. That'd he'd spoken to Sirius and that Sirius was awaiting her arrival. He was nervous about seeing such a fragile part of their history and what feelings it could provoke in Sirius. But his nervousness was nothing in compare to Sirius's. Sirius was pacing around the house making sure everything looked okay, asking Tonks over and over if he looked okay. Remus chuckled at the memory of Sirius telling Tonks the news. Tonks came through the fire within the literal second of getting off the phone with Sirius and quite frankly scared the hell out of both of them.

"Sirius?"

"Yes Remus?"

"Are you ready for this? Maybe you should have met her some place."

"No, it's okay I'd like to have her here."

"Maybe Remus is right Sirius, You're uncomfortable. It's going to make her uncomfortable."

"You think it will?" Sirius asked his eyes betraying his anxiety.

"Take her out some place when she gets here Sirius. I promise you'll do fine."

"Yeah.. I'll hold you to it." He said playfully.

Sirius loved Tonks. She was the only one of his family who'd ever supported him in anything and he felt bad for not trusting her with his secret up until now.

The doorbell rang. All the calm in Sirius had left him, but he went to the door and cautiously opened it. What he saw, was very different from his baby in the cradle.

She had shoulder length dark hair that resembled his own, but her eyes they were Sidney's. Those piercing blue eyes he fell in love with was in his daughters possession.

" Hello." She said very friendly.

"Hel-lo"

"What's you're name?" She asked cautiously.

"Sirius"

"So you're my father?"

"Depends are you Lindsey?"

"My names Caitlin."

"Right- right Alyssa renamed you. I'm sorry. - Caitlin."

"I'm sorry this is awkward-"

"Don't be sorry for something you can't help."

Tonks came up to the doors and pushed by Sirius. She could see from a mile away that this girl was Sirius's daughter.

"Hello Caitlin. My name is Tonks. Your father was just wondering if you'd like to have dinner with him someplace."

"Nice to meet you Tonks, of course I'd like to have dinner."

"Good." She said slipping some money into Sirius's hand and pushing him out of the door. "I'll see the both of you later."

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Sirius took her to an Italian Restraunt. It's what she requested and if memory served, Sidney loved Italian food too.

"So, what school did you go too?"

"I went to Hogwarts,"

"What house where you in?"

"Griffindor, "

"My favorite memory of Hogwarts would have to be my 3d year."

"Why is that?"

"This 1st year, his name was Harry Potter. I met him you know."

Sirius smiled. She was clueless. She didn't know that she was practically Harry's cousin,

"Tell you a secret."

"Okay, shoot."

"Harry Potter is my godson."

"No way!"

"Shhh,"

"How?" She said at a normal tone.

" Harry's father James was my best friend in Hogwarts. He was around when you were born you know."

"Oh," She asked slightly less than enthusiastic.

"Your mother refused to see you didn't she?"

"How did you know?"

"It's in your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"You have your mother's eyes. I could always tell what was going through her mind in her eyes."

"Why won't she see me?"

"It's a lot of history Li-Caitlin. I'll get that right I promise."

"I don't have to be anywhere. Please Sirius, I have to know what I've done."

"Nothing Caitlin. Nothing it was never you."

"Well then what was it?"

"Your mother was seventeen years old when she had you. Your mother, she,"

"She what?"

"Your mother's mother died when your mother was five years old. Her father wasn't ever around for her and when your mother and I were together she had all of this anger and all of this love. At the same time Caitlin she hated everything and she loved everything too."

As much as he hated Sidney for what she'd done to him. It just didn't sit right for Caitlin to hate her too.

"Tell me my last day as your daughter Sirius."

"Umm- well you were I guess about a month or two old and we were about to graduate from Hogwarts you see and Sidney asked what I thought of putting you up for adoption. "

"What'd you tell her?"

"I told her, I didn't want to because of my own selfish reasons. There was a huge fight it ended up in the Headmasters office. She finally quit fighting me and told me to do whatever I wanted. She didn't care anymore. I knew I couldn't keep you for me. It was selfish and I couldn't make ends meet for both of us at the age of seventeen. I loved you more than that."

"So that's when you met mum?"

"Oh your mum was great. She was very comforting to me. I trusted her with you she promised me I could.

"Mum's great. She hid it from me though, until I was sixteen."

"I rember your sister and brother too."

"Damien and Bex?"

"Yeah, how are they?"

"Damien ended up Captain of the Quidditch team and Bex in her 7th year got head girl."

"What about you?"

"I got into too much trouble to get anything for merit. It was worth it though,"

"You are definitely my daughter."

"What'd you get into trouble a lot too?"

"I had you at seventeen sweetheart. That should answer your question."

Caitlin smiled and they talked some more. He told himself he was going to see his daughter again. Even if she was seventeen years old when he did. He just wished James and Lily could of met her. They would have loved her and to have seen the young woman she'd become. He was proud of her and he was proud of Harry, as proud as James would have been. Everything turned out okay. He thought nothing would ever be okay again after Lily and James were murdered. and it wasn't ideal, but he could deal with it again.


End file.
